I nearly died

My family went on vacation and left me at home alone for a couple of days – almost a week actually. During this time of trial I have discovered a crrutial fact about myself, I dont know the first thing about cooking.

I think I might have made the worst maltabela in the world this past Wednesday morning. I wouldn't have felt so bad if it was a spur of the moment thing and I just did something small wrong that made the maltabela bad, but I actually rehearsed how I'm gona do it in my mind the previous night already and assured myself that I will do just fine with the whole process. "Its just maltabela" I said to m myself, "how hard can it be?". That right there was my first mistake, undermining maltabela.

We have "Quick Cooking' maltabela at home. I didnt know this prior to Wednesday

morning. Especially the cooking part. For those of you who dont know, there's two ways to prepare quick cooking maltabela: There's the conventional way where you cook it in a pot, and then there's the faster microwave way. Which one of the two methods did I choose? Yes, the add milk and eat it raw method.

I honestly think that was the worst maltabela in the world but I was just too proud to admit I did something wrong. I said to myself it must be a bad batch from the factory, in fact let me send an email to Hello Peter and complain. I never sent the email. I knew I fucked up somewhere. Have you noticed how you're ok with bad food until you can't eat it anymore and you give it to the dog and even it doesnt want it? Right than it turned into a panic for me. The thing is I've seen our dog eat its own pooh it was fine with that, how bad does that make my maltabela??

I'll be honest the only reason I gave our dog Raffles that maltabela was coz I didnt wana die alone. When I go down people I'll be sure to take someone with me. Someone, anyone, even a dog I don't care. In fact I should have poisoned Raffles anyway after I found out I was gona be ok. Who does he think he is to pull his nose up for my food? I would have been ok with it if he just walked away but he actually turned around and started chewing some old chicken bones, which I at that point felt was very racist.

Its Friday and I'm still alive so I guess I'll be ok.

My cooking is what it is. Wednesday morning wasn't my finest hour but it doesn't break me. I can only learn from my mistake and hopefully not do it next time coz God, I nearly died.

Weldon Meyers